Mineral Springs Baptist Church

1030 Bible Lane  Vinton, VA  24179  540-890-4465

Gathering the Harvest
as We Grow in Grace

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Internet Jewels: Unique Christian Themed Email postings.

From an Email April 2006:

 The Resume of Jesus Christ

Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus

Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ . Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart.  Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.

Qualifications

  • I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
  • I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
  • I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
  • I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
  • The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me, (See Galatians 3:14)

Occupational Background

  • I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).  
  • I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
  • My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)

Skills Work Experiences

  • Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
  • I am Wonderful, Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
  • Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)

Educational Background

  • I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
  • In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3).
  • My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
  • I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).

Major Accomplishments

  • I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (See Genesis 1:26).
  • I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).
  • I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
  • I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
  • There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.

References

  • Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance

In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).

Send this resume to everyone you know, you never know who may have an opening! Thanks for your help and may God bless you!

 

 

From an Email September 2006:

Pastor with Guts;

  This Pastor has guts!!  Thought you might enjoy this

  Interesting Prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their

  Senate. It seems Prayer still upsets some people.  When Minister Joe

  Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate,

  Everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:

   "Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and

  To seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to

  Those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have

  Lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

  We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

  We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

  We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

  We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

  We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building Self esteem.

  We have abused power and called it politics.

  We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.

  We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it Freedom of expression.

  We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and Called it enlightenment.

   Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from Every  Sin and set us free. Amen!" 

  The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during

  The prayer in protest.  In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where

  Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47

  Of those calls responding negatively.

 The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from

India, Africa and Korea. Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio

Program, "The Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to

This program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may

This prayer sweep over our nation and whole heartedly become our desire so

That we again can be called "one nation Under God." 

If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends. "If you don't 

Stand for something, you will fall for everything."

From an Email September 2006:

  Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
        Jesus Christ and the American Armed Forces
        One died for your soul;
         The other for your freedom.


From an Email September 2006:

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.....
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God! held a book;
It was the book of life
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"
 

 

From an Email April 2006:

Jerusalem          OBITUARIES          33 A.D.

 

Jesus Christ, 33, of Nazareth died Friday on Mount Calvary, also

known as Golgotha, the place of the skull.  Betrayed by the apostle Judas,

Jesus was crucified by the Romans by order of the Ruler Pontius Pilate.

The causes of death were crucifixion, extreme exhaustion, severe torture and loss of blood.

 

Jesus Christ, a descendant of Abraham, was a member of the house of David.

He was the Son of the late Joseph, a carpenter of Nazareth, and Mary, His devoted Mother.

Jesus was born in a stable in the city of Bethlehem, Judea.  He is survived by his mother Mary, His

faithful Apostles, numerous disciples, and many other followers.

 

Jesus was self educated and spent most of his adult life working as

a Teacher.  Jesus also occasionally worked as a Medical Doctor and

it is reported that he healed many patients.  Up until the time of His death,

Jesus was teaching and sharing the Good News, healing the sick, touching the lonely,

feeding the hungry, and helping the poor.

 

Jesus was most noted for telling parables about His Father's Kingdom and

performing miracles, such as feeding over 5,000 people with only five loaves

 of bread and two fish, and healing a man who was born blind.  On the day before His death,

He held a Last Supper celebrating the Passover Feast, at which He foretold His death.

 

The body was quickly buried in a stone grave which was donated by Joseph of Arimathea

a loyal friend of the family.  By order of Pontius Pilate, a boulder was rolled

in front of the tomb.  Roman soldiers were put on guard.

 

In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that everyone try to

live as Jesus did.  Donations may be sent to anyone in need.
Excerpt from an Email - April 2006:

..............how much >do you love me? Jesus replied," I love you this much." and he stretched his >arms to the cross and died for us.
 

Mineral Springs Baptist Church  1030 Bible Lane  Vinton, VA  24179  540-890-4465